So this weekend took a turn from the ideal with a call from my mother. My great grandmother- 104- was not doing well and they called the family in. I had to sit through a class before I could rush home to say my goodbyes- just in case.
I have honestly heard speak wistfully of death since I was born and cannot remember a time when she was not ready to die. To some this might be frustrating, but in the context of my family, it is normal. It has created an unique family dynamic and dialogue since I was very young. It has opened the door to multigenerational discussion and acceptance of death and the aging process at a young age. It helped to deal with the passing of life as people have come into and out of my life.
Being called in has given me a chance to reflect on how families teach youth about death. Many of my friends fear nursing homes. On the other hand, do not mind nursing homes due to the reality that nursing homes are full of individuals who are human and therefore deserve respect. Older individuals need respect, just as every generation deserves and desires dignity. This is not to say that there is a specific way of sharing death and dying or that every child takes this discussion of aging well (my sister would be a great example of such). In my personal experience, I have found it helpful and found that it had changed my view on aging very positively. Aging is not a negative, but an expression of the journey that life takes us on.
As of now, my great grandmother is alive. No matter how long that statement stays true she continues to make a difference in the world. She affects the lives around her, including her family and the staff at the nursing home she now inhabits. When she does pass it will be a celebration of the life she lived and the stories that occurred during the life she lived. It will be a celebration... it will be over 104 years!
Just a few comments on a life well lived.
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